just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
me + whiskey = a bad person
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
