Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You were trust falling into bushes
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
