how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
