She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
