This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
