so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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