TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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