we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize