Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
