Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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