it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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