i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
