just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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