I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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