While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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