He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
