me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
