Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
