i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
