Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
