What did we do last night that was yellow?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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