I wanna bring you to show and tell
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
