you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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