maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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