Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
