at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
