he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
