There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this just has baby written all over it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
