He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
