Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
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So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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