i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
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If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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