We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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