Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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