i barfeds in our rink
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
