I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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