I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
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Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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