I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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