it wasn't lemon gatorade
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
