Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
