Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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