I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
