fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
