I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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