i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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