apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
