These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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