Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize