i don't like sucking hair
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
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