Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
