Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just pee around me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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