Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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