my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize