You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
