Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
