exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize