with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
