so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.